A guide to starting a conversation on money

Does the prospect of starting a conversation about money make you feel awkward and uncomfortable? If the answer is yes, you can be sure that you’re not alone. In fact, Brits are twice as likely to say ‘I love you’ within the early days of dating than raise the topic of money, which shows that despite finances dominating the news cycle, we’ve got a long way to go talking about money behind closed doors.

Yet the benefits of talking about money are well documented. Talking about money can remove any assumptions and set you up for a smoother financial future together. So how can you start off the conversation without scaring your partner away?

Don’t jump in at the deep end

Conversations about money don’t have to go from zero to laying out the intricacies of your bank account in one swoop. Start off by bringing the wider topic of money and finances into conversation, perhaps through referencing a story you’ve spotted in the news, or an article you’ve recently read online. Using third party references to open the topic of conversation can allow you to start talking about money without personal experience and emotions coming to the table straight away.

Stay judgement free & listen

It sounds simple, but remember to listen if your partner opens up about their financial situation or their relationship with money. For lots of people, it’s a huge step to start having these conversations and it can make many people feel vulnerable. You might not have the same views or experiences when it comes to money, but allow them to share their perspective without jumping in and imposing your own thoughts.

Share your financial goals 

It’s not unusual for people to look for similar life goals in a partner, so why not discuss your financial goals and work towards them together? Shared experiences can be hugely beneficial for your relationship, giving you a common aim to focus on and often, you can both reap the rewards together when you reach the goal. Sharing your goal with your partner is another way to build trust too, and can signal that you’re in the relationship for the long run.

Schedule time for monthly money dates

It might sound a little bit out there, but setting aside time regularly to talk about finances is a great way to keep the conversation flowing and build trust when it comes to money. Choose a neutral environment to go and sit down, taking it in turns to discuss your current financial situation, along with how you are feeling about money. Allow each other time to share their views and thoughts, before working as a team to tackle any challenges.

Looking for more conversations on money & love? Check out this episode of my podcast Money Unfiltered.