How to face the fear and write your will

Written by Alex Delaney, founder of Lemons.Life

If you’re like most people, you know that writing your will is some serious grown-upping - and yet you’ve left it on the to do list for a long time. But alongside taking better care of your finances here are some top tips for overcoming the fear factor, and getting it done, finally.

This is hard. Acknowledge it.

Make space to have big existential thoughts about life and death but also set yourself a deadline as it’s easy to keep putting off. How do you really feel about burial or cremation? If you feel able, ask family and friends what they want, and open up a conversation, you might be surprised.

Decide what you actually need to decide

You need to decide who gets what and who will help carry out your wishes (executors). You don’t have to have wealth to do a will - you could just tell people what to do with your Instagram when you’re gone. Even if you come to no decisions, you can say that you want your loved ones to decide what happens to you. The important thing is that you’ve put it down in a legally recognised document.

Get help to write it, so it's right

You can ask a will writing solicitor who will chat to you about your circumstances. Most high street solicitors will give you tailored advice. They can cost anywhere from around £500-£800+ depending on what you need.

More women are starting to use online will writing services as they are faster and can save money. Many have sprung up in the last few years, mine included! Charities can offer wills for free and ask for a small donation as part of the will. For between £20 and £200 these services allow you to write your wishes in a form which gets checked by a solicitor and posted to you. If anything in the will doesn’t work in legal terms, they’ll tell you. For example, a pet can’t legally inherit property...Some offer to store your will so you know there’s always a copy away from your home as well.

These sites offer a reasonably priced service - but if you have a complicated family set up, getting advice from a solicitor will be worth it. So decide what your budget is and shop around. And you can do it for free by getting a will template from the Post Office. The reason people don’t often go for this, is because there is a risk you put down things that don’t work legally.

Single or joint will? Married or living together? With kids or without?

It’s the big life moments that make a will so important. You can do a will that just says what you want, or you can do one that reflects both you and your partner's wishes, this is called a mirror will.

Just because we all live and love more freely these days, we assume the law recognises that. But there’s a lot of catching up to do when it comes to laws governing people who die without wills. Basically, if you live with a partner and are not married or in a civil partnership, you need a will because, without, your partner may not get what you intended...end of.

Make it official

A will writing service or solicitor will guide you through this - but the important bit is you need to sign it in the presence of two witnesses who aren’t related or in a relationship with you and can’t be people who will inherit. A friendly neighbour, work colleague or friend who won’t get anything from you are the best people to ask.

Then, celebrate! Getting this done can seem like a bit of an ordeal. And it was one I didn’t take. I was widowed suddenly in 2018 and he died without a will. It was not easy and it’s made me really passionate about making sure other women sort their will out.

Once you’ve done it, you can be really proud that you’ve properly adulted.

Check out Lemons.Life for a jargon buster and to start your will.